I went a week without seeing him. This whole summer thing is going to be difficult, let me list a few things I missed about him.
The way he drops everything to give man kind the shirt off his back.
The way he looks after he’s given up that shirt.
The way his whole face smiles when he smiles.
The sounds of his laughter.
The softness in his touch and voice.
The enduring touches he does when we hold hands, sit together, sit near each other, walk across the room from each other, say goodbye, and other things.
The way he makes me smile.
The way he makes me laugh.
The way he pulls my hair out of my face.
The way his finger tips feel on my hand.
The laughter that we share.
I prayed to god the other day not to take away such a good thing. I really hope he listens.
… You’re happy?” Margie asked. Of which I took a deep breath and tilted my head back. I’d kill not to be in a different University as my best friend sometimes. This this is one of them.
“I dunno Margie. Things don’t go right for me. I mean take a look at my life. Chaos. Stress. Sadness. I can handle all of that with great strides. Give me something worth losing though and suddenly I’m gambling with more than I have.” I know it sounds lame. I know she’s probably rolling her eyes at me from hours away. But I know she knows exactly why I am worried, and she would kill to be here to tell me to my face.
“Stop freaking out. Take it a day at a time. You’re happy.”
“I know I just. Why me you know? Why did he pick me?”
“Because you’re a good person,” and as much as I want to believe her part of me may never. I repeat the words to myself I’m happy. It’s what I want to be loved by someone else.
Only a matter of days till I’m away from the man I just met, and back surrounded by old haunts, and the people who keep me together. Talk about a cluster.