Of dying early. Because well here’s my philosophy.
My life has been.. filled. With great people. Great feats. Adventures and challenges. I had a grandmother who loved me to her dying day, and I was present at her dying day holding her hand and sending her on her way with love. I have learned how to remain close with my family no matter how far away they travel. I have been tested in strength, morals, and I have learned the right love and the wrong. I’ve traveled to Canada and found my inner hippie on a mountain becoming an environmentalist. I went to Mexico to help children, and learned more about my life.
I think that god (or who ever) is filling my life as much as possible because it’s going to be cut short. There’s been so much I’ve learned and so much, done so much. More things than people my age normally go through, work through, see and do. And normally I am 100% okay with my idea of things being cut short. Except. Well. I want a future. I want more. I want things to keep coming. I want this everyday, because today he made my day with a phone call:
I called because I wanted you to know I love you so much and I miss you.
I went on a mission trip to Mexico, with a group of people I didn’t know. I learned something about the world in relationship to my relationships with people. I let my guard down, major.
It was this group of people that I was able to open up to. I was able to learn from. I was able to grow. One of us gave a personal story about an adoption agency, another gave a story of being down and out, all of us could relate to this children. In one point in our life we were these children. Down and out and feeling abandoned. I learned that if me being there gives them hope, this group of people I went with gave me hope.
I opened up to people I didn’t know and I was comforted by them. I let comfort into my life and realized it, acknowledged it and I greeted it with arm wide open. It was the slow moving hand of one of us that made my tears sting not so hard, it was the laughter of another that brought mine louder, it was my worries, that were met with positive affirmation.
This group was a set of amazing people hand picked. In two girls I found the female strength I needed to know that I can keep going and keep kicking ass at what I do. It was a refresher and I feel better already.