- I would shake, tremble, and quake with fear. Hate for myself. Worry. Defeat. And Self Loss
- I would stay awake for hours reenacting each moment and the burn in my throat from not saying a word.
- I would sit on the roof and pray to who ever would listen
- Then I would give up my prayers determined I didn’t deserve help.
- I would have to force my meals down, because puking came too easy.
- I completely changed my route in town, and at school. To avoid him.
- I would turn the shower on as hot as it could get sitting on the floor. Crying.
- I would swim to the middle of the lake, begging anyone and something to make it easier.
Except now I wonder how much of that has changed or how much of me has changed. How to I explain to people, just how bad bad was? Imagine the worst, and then throwing a hopeless cause in the middle of it. That. Was me.