If You Want to Talk

I’m here. Gosh he’s repeated that a few times now. Sometimes I want to just go from start to finish and just keep going. Except it doesn’t work like that, because I’ve put a lock for so long on my ideas and my words.

Part of me wishes when he met Margie he’d ask some things that she just understands.

Why does she always say she doesn’t deserve me? Because you see. She doesn’t think she deserves a thing. She just doesn’t understand why people would want to be around her, or why people enjoy being around her. She thinks that if it’s good it should go to someone else. Someone who deserves it. She just doesn’t understand.

Why does she always think she’s a bad person? Because she let it happen well at least according to her. She doesn’t think she’s a good person or all she does is ever enough. She’d give and give till she had nothing left, and she’d still feel like it wasn’t enough.

What do you mean enough? She’s told you she’s broken before right? Ya Well you see she thinks there is a large piece of her missing. Like she’s half of the woman she use to be. Half the woman she could be, because she lost the other half and can’t get it back. So she’d give you everything she’s got, but it’s only half of what she wants to give you.

How does she still go on whole-heartedly? Because that’s her. She goes everywhere with everything she’s got. She’s convinced she’s gonna die early because she lives through so much and still has so much. She thinks it’s some big test that you learn how to keep going and giving it your all.

Do you think she’ll ever figure it out? Slowly. She understands in bits and pieces for short periods of time. Sometimes it’s just a lot though so she chooses to take what she can.

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1 Comment

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One response to “If You Want to Talk

  1. I think she understands it much more than she admits, if she can write a post like this. Girl, I know it’s hard to ‘fess up to it, but you know you’re a good person, and you do understand, bit by bit, that you deserve good things to happen to you.

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