Is who I have always been, chosen to be, and the things that helped strengthen and shape me are a part of who I am as well. It is like I am a tree and someone threw barbed wire around my sides to stop me from growing, except instead I have embraced the pain and continued to grow with a slight flaw or difference.
It’s difficult to know who I am, why I am, and the things I do, and try to explain them to other people. Why is it so important that you always carry such strength? Because it helped me live for so long. Why is it you have trouble trusting. Because when I trust, I do it whole heartedly, so you better deserve it. Why do you always give back. Because sometimes that’s all I have to give. Why is it some days you are just so sad and quiet. Because the very world makes me sad, that I don’t fit with my flaw.
Lately it’s been a new battle to know who I am and be this strong, while trusting someone else. While holding someone so close to me. My battle is no longer just my own, instead my scars are kissed and caressed for the first time I can be a little weak. It’s nice and yet it’s scary as hell. Sometimes I worry, Does chipping away my cold heart make me lose a piece of who I am? No. It makes me more the person I want to be.