Not What Made Me

What I chose to be. Part of me was always angry at what Steve turned me into. This unhappy, innocence lost, sad, angry, confused person. While I am these things and he probably is to blame for those things I was also angry for other things.

For losing my innocence and ignorance. In other words, for growing up too fast. Except I learned how to do this, and I did it fast. I grew up because I wanted to. Because I was sick of acting 12 and because I didn’t want to be put in a situation like I was with Steve. I wanted to be with someone more mature, someone who understood, someone who wouldn’t make the same mistakes Steve did.

I realized that of a lot of the things I was most angry about where things I chose to do as a defense mechanism, and therefore really did make me a stronger better person. I hated how I felt like I lost everything so I decided to give everything I had left. Likewise I learned how to keep on keepin’ on, and in return became extremely strong in nature and determined. Essentially as bad as it all is, I made pretty damn well for myself.

Note: Have to gain back confidence, I am a good strong, independent woman.


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Filed under Life, Memories

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