Are you okay?

NewGuy and I have been getting pretty phsyical. I mean I’m comfortable with all of it, but it’s physical so here is where my suitcases of baggage come in. I sat on his floor with a tall glass of water trying to settle my breathing and holding his hand. “Are you okay?” He asked me. Of which I assured him I was fine. “No I mean with all of this. Are you okay?” Right then my heart melted. I’m leaving and the night before he decided to be the exact man I’ve ever wanted in my life.

I crawled behind him and whispered, “You are too good to me.” He thinks he does nothing and doesn’t understand. I get quiet and shower his back with kisses while I try to choke back tears. At least he can’t see me crying. “You make me comfortable. You care for me. You take care of me.” I started to choke a little harder on my tears. “You asked me if I was okay. You accept me.” Then he caught on that I was crying. “I’m broken NewGuy.” He reaches for my hands, “What?” I start to cry harder, “I’m broken. I’m used. I’m hurt. I’m no good.”

This was the point of which he picked me up and put me down on his chest holding me tight. You’re not broken. I cried harder at his care. Our last night together and Steve had to jump in, I cried harder that I lost a night to him. You can talk about it if you want to. “You’re so good to me.” I whisper in his neck with tears running down my neck. How does someone hurt such a beautiful person? I cried harder, and he held me until my tears slowed. He held me while I shook with everything I have. “I’m sorry.” I kept whispering in his ear while I wiped my tears and tried to forget it all. Please don’t apoligize. He said like he meant it, and I fell into his body not wanting to move.

You’re so good to me.



Filed under Life

2 responses to “Are you okay?

  1. armylifelove

    wow…I understand where you are coming from. It made me cry too…

  2. NewGuy is good for you. He’s definitely good for you. And you may want to tell him about what you went through one day – but the thing is, you don’t have to until you’re ready because he’s obviously willing and more than glad to accept you with or without any baggage you may have and to care about you. I’m happy for you, honey :).

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s