Makes me want to vomit everytime I think of him. Lately the only thing I can be is relovted. As NewGuy and I get closer emotionally and physically I can only remember all the horrible memories I’ve pushed away for so long. Sometimes it’s utterly depressing and I want to ask NewGuy to stop and I want to cry.
Then I look at him, and he’s not reaching for me because he wants to test my boundries. He’s reaching for me because he doesnt want the distance between us.
Then I feel his hand on the bare of my back and I know all the times I stopped Steve’s hands in that exact spot, and NewGuy doesn’t move. He simply holds onto me and let’s his presence be known without even me asking him to stop he does. He makes me feel utterly comfortable.
Then he holds me tight and calls me beautiful.
Sometimes I want to hold NewGuy for as long as I can and never let him go, because he’s so good to me, and he doesn’t even know it.