The last battle and he wants to win it

I always tell everyone that I’m mad that he wins. That his life goes on and mine is stopped. Then I started winning a few battles here and there. I remembered the time I yelled at him and I chaulked myself up a point. I bought a strapless dress and gave myself another for looking and feeling beautiful. I gave myself another one when I realized when I was a good person.

Now I’m fighting one of our last battles.

You see there’s this boy, and right now it’s nothing just two friends who get together a lot and hang out. I’m holding on the fact that the guy I like is going to accept me and help me grow as much as I have been lately. It’s scary though, really scary and I freaked out last night. Knowing that I’m having this battle because of Steve, and I don’t want him to win it.

“Do you know where you can get those saint pennants? Like the St. Jude one?”
“Ya I have some. Why? Do you want one?”
“St. Jude. Because sometimes I’m a lost cause.” He didn’t even flinch the conversation just kept going. Then last the night he pulls out his pennant and says, “Take it if you want it.”

Baby maybe I’ll be your lost cause and you can believe in me.

More later.


1 Comment

Filed under Life

One response to “The last battle and he wants to win it

  1. I know it’s hard, but you DO need to learn to trust again, and that is probably one of the most important battles you will fight with Steve.
    The best of luck with Mr. Boy, I hope he can help you learn to trust and keep moving in the direction you’ve been going.

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