I wish

I was a less protected. Less predictable. Sheltered. Preserved. Hell I’ll say it… I wish I didn’t come off as a prude.

I’m not fast to jump on the “lets hook up” bandwagon but that doesn’t mean I want to die a virgin. I’m not the “anti sex” I’m the love me if you’re gonna do it. I’m the been there, been through the screw ups, someone tell me how this is suppose to be for once.

I wish I could get really really drunk and text this boy that I love him. And I have for three years. But he has a girlfriend and that’s wrong. And I don’t ever get that drunk. And I’d never just let it slip. But DAMN I wish I could just yell things from the top of my lungs. I want to scream at him that I wouldn’t treat him that way. I want to scream love me! Pick me!

I want to climb to the tallest building on campus and scream “I WAS IN A FUCKED UP RELATIONSHIP. OKAY? THATS WHY I DONT WANT TO HOOK UP THATS WHY I DONT WANT YOU TOUCHING ME. DAMN. SOMEONE JUST TELL ME HOW THIS IS SUPPOSE TO BE.

Sometimes I just wish I could yell.

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1 Comment

Filed under Life

One response to “I wish

  1. You can yell. Take a friend, go somewhere late at night that’s far away – like a deserted stretch of highway. Get out of the car, and YELL. It may only be a momentary relief, but I an guerentee it will be satisfying for at least a moment.
    About this boy though – if he’s a friend, you can tell him. I don’t think it’s wrong, most especially if his current girlfriend is treating him badly.

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