I dream vividly

In a sense it is my own curse. I can go hours replaying every little detail in my dreams. I have to convince myself it was just a dream. I have to look up calendars and prove that there simply wasn’t enough time in my life to have that happen. My dreams though, they keep me awake at times. They keep me tossing and turning. His face runs through as fast as a kid plays with a kilidascope. There it is, mishapen, There it is again, a glitter of hope, There it is again. I wonder how long until my dreams are filled with Prince charming instead of my turmoils. I wonder when I can fall asleep in the arms of another with out waking up in shakes. Do you know how embaressing that is!? How to do you explain that to someone?! “Nightmares?” I sound like a seven year old.

My dreams capture all of my fears. I can see him crying for me to come back. I can see each tear roll down his cheek and I can feel the pull at my heart to comfort him. I can see the same episodes, the car, the movie theatre, the couches, all the many places I lost who I was. My pain pulses through my body until I jolt myself awake at three in the morning gasping for air. I wonder when I’ll stop living in my nightmares and start looking forward to dreams.

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1 Comment

Filed under Nightmares, Thoughts

One response to “I dream vividly

  1. First of all, if you’re in someone’s arms, and you trust them enough to be in their arms, then they will want to comfort you, will want to hold you until you stop shaking and will definitely NOT think of you as silly for having nightmares. That’s the kind of person worth sticking with.
    Second of all, according to many therapists, the way to get rid of nightmares is to confront them, pick them apart and see the deeper meaning to them, not just the surface. What you fear isn’t this specific person again – no, your fears go deeper, and those are the ones you must face so as to be able to get rid of the nightmares for good.

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