Who I am

As it is that I am back at school on a Saturday night it also seems that I am surrounded by freshman college students amazed by the effects of beer. The same kids that seem destine to ask me the meaning of life. Tonight I didn’t drink, but as someone leaned saturated in Key Stone Light they tried to tell me their boyfriend problems. I gave her the only advice I could think of- Stop dating and figure out who you are without a boyfriend. So many girls are defined by their significant others that it seems we get lost in who people want us to be, who we strive to be, who we wish we were, and who makes who happy. Who are all these people? Who am I?? (Which is what said drunk freshman started to wonder around asking)

Who am I? I am… I am… I am an independent woman who doesn’t need a man, but I’ll admit I’d love one. There’s my difference from most college freshman I don’t feel like I always need a man. It’s like a sunroof on a car, essentially it would be really nice to stand up and stick both hands out the window screaming “I am free” and it would give you a lot of things to talk about, but is it necessary? Can I not drive with one hand out the window singing loudly to the music. Is my life so defined by being with someone that I and others are forgetting to enjoy it? Is it a waste to be single? No. It’s just a different car. While the sunroof seems nice and all, eventually you hit bugs, get sun-burnt, or get caught in a snow storm with your head still out the window and you think just for a minute, if sitting in the car with the windows rolled up and the music on, wasn’t half bad.

Even still, I’d wear sunscreen, a scarf, and goggles for the bugs all so I could feel the comfort and ease to be with someone and think “Freedom” instead of “loss”



Filed under Life, Thoughts

4 responses to “Who I am

  1. I believe you make an excellent point – and I think it’s incredible that you’re able to admit that you don’t NEED a man. Way too many people seem like they cannot survive without someone to be glued to the lips with, and while someone like that can be wonderful, it shouldn’t be the major defining feature of one’s life.

  2. This is very nice, and I agree, an excellent point, but it’s very hard to put in practice. You might be awesome on your own, but… Isn’t there something missing?

    I mean… I for one have pretty awesome things going for me, but when I’m on my own it still feels like I’m on my own, if you know what I mean… It’s not that I need someone, is it? Is it really a need or have we been taught that way? I’m still workin’ on that and can’t seem to reach an answer.

    However, love is indeed a drug… As hard to quit on as smokes and other drugs. So if it’s a drug then it’s only a created need, right? Who knows… Thing is… The “created need” is still there. And it doesn’t seem to go away. LOL And to tell the truth, I don’t even know if I’d wish it away.

  3. Sam

    Yes. Last year, senior year, I had two boyfriends, each one for one half of the year. All of a sudden, it was time for college and I realized that somewhere, even though I had all this love and friendship surrounding me, I didn’t really know who I was. So I broke up with him, and went off to college on my own. Because isn’t college all about finding yourself? And that’s what I’ve been attempting to do, and it’s working out alright. Sometimes, of course, I just want a boy to be there and care about me and think I’m awesome. But the want isn’t a need. And I’m still very content with just myself.

  4. Couldn’t have said it better indeed. The want isn’t a need. I need to jot that down.

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