As I wrote my last post I couldn’t help but thinking. Scream! Tell him to stop! You don’t deserve that! It’s like I have seperated myself so far from what happened to me that I felt as though I was watching it from somewhere else. I realized that my words sounded sad and what happened to me sounded horrid. I realized that despite my innermost critic and all the bad advice I’ve been given I learned — It happened to me. For real.
I was shaken to my core after writing that. I finally told a peice of what happened to as many people that cared to read. I was sad, so sad. I was upset and angry wanting to tell the world how I didn’t know what love was. I didn’t understand that it was wrong. I didn’t understand that its okay to not take it. I didn’t see the strength in my constant “no” I thought of the what if I didn’t even do that. How much worse would I be?
My winter break has been long and I miss my college atmosphere. I need to go back.